30 Days of Night: Dark Days

Dark days indeed, my friends. You know when a sequel comes long that is so mind numbingly atrocious that it actually detracts a little bit from the original film? I'm looking at YOU Robocop 3, and Boondock Saints II...Well add another one to the list kids, the sequel to 30 Days of Night will have you wishing you were a Barrow resident the first time around.

I can't even decide really where to begin here. I have absolutely nothing good to say about this movie. Granted, I hold the first 30 Days of Night film, as well as all of the comics, in the highest regard so I'm probably being a little too hard on it. Regardless, I sat there open mouthed the entire time, unable to comprehend the mediocrity transpiring on the screen. That's right people, I hated it so much that I'm using the big words.

The acting was laughable, and it was hard to tell if that was because the script was so terrible, or if they were just bad actors. There wasn't a lot of blood, and what was there was mostly CG, and not the good kind. The vampires looked like albino inhabitants of the planet Remulak, and although some were capable of speech, they just stood around and screeched at each other. Not the unnerving screech from the first film either, this sounded more like when Marc Singer would talk to his eagle in The Beastmaster. Half the time it annoyed me, and the other half it made me laugh.

The story is my biggest gripe, you're basing this off the comic book sequel to Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith's original masterpiece. Admittedly, the comic version of Dark Days wasn't as good as the first series, and it has been a while since I read the books, but I recognized exactly two scenes in Dark Days, the very first scene and the very last scene. Everything in the middle was completely new to me. And it wasn't good.

I'm not going to even bother doing a plot synopsis here, this movie took one ridiculously stupid turn after another, it borrowed heavily from better movies (Blade and Blade II particularly), and there were inconsistencies and plot holes you could drive a truck through. Do yourself a favor and read the comics if you're interested in the continuance of the 30 Days of Night saga. As bad as the film version of Dark Days was, I highly doubt there will be any more movies.