Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Why Come Back?

The more I think about the topic up there, the more I ask myself that question. Why? I'm not a writer, so why type things on a keyboard for no real reason? Who gives a fuck what I think about anything? Nobody really. In the grand scheme of things, I'm just another aging geek with a computer. I'm certainly not getting paid for it. Who in the fuck would pay me to type poorly about video games or movies? I suppose in the beginning, way back before Twitter, Facebook, and countless other forms of social media, I was perusing message boards and started this blog because to be perfectly honest, the amount of people I could relate to in real life, who shared my interests, my weirdness, was next to none. Sure I had a couple of friends, but they were hours away, and that can make anybody lonely at time, even those of us who are mostly fine being all by themselves. I guess what I'm saying is, this blog was sort of my way of showing my voice to the world, in the hopes that one or two people would talk back, and it worked. I met people via this blog that I continue to speak to on a regular basis today, some of whom I've even met in real life, and that is a wonderful thing.

It went past that eventually though. Something I never would have expected of myself, something that I have always prided myself in not doing, began to happen. I tried to fit in. I saw the guys in the "circles" I was running in now doing things like writing reviews, doing big editorials, getting movies free in the mail, and I thought, " I guess that's what I should be doing". I mean, I like movies, I like free shit, why not me? So I started trying to get involved in things, I changed what I was doing here, I started contacting people, and eventually what I discovered was that I was no longer enjoying what I was doing. Not taking anything away from the guys who were, and continue to do it, of course. I just couldn't seem to get my foot in the door, so to speak, which is perfectly understandable when every geek with a laptop is clamoring for the same free "review" copies. Truth be told, thanks to Hack Issues, I had way better luck with comics that I did movies. I never took the lack of response, or the flat out "no's" personally, I just eventually found it to be tiring, and not at all what I set out to do when I opened the doors to the original Batcave. I had to ask myself, was all this effort to be a "somebody" really worth it? Was I, now in my late 30's, actually worried about "fitting in"? When I realized the answer to those questions was "fuck no", I just quit cold turkey. I mean, as you can see by scrolling, I still want to do whatever I can to help get exposure for my friends in their respective creative projects, and to those who have been gracious enough to continue to include me in their work, I am forever grateful. Again, I'm nobody, and to see my name in the credits of a movie under "Special Thanks" is a feeling that I can neither describe, nor will I ever forget. But, aside from that, I was essentially done.

That brings us to today, or yesterday as it were I suppose, blowing off the dust here. Why? The easy answer is because it used to be fun, and fun is something that I need in my life. Especially with the world the way it is. Good Lord, if people ever needed an escape from reality, it's now, probably more than ever. Regardless if this is my last post for another year (it won't be, I have things planned), I stick with it for a few weeks, or this is my less than triumphant return indefinitely, the Batcave will be like it was when I first started out. If I like a movie, I'll probably tell you that I liked it, and maybe even why. If I didn't, the same. That goes for comics, video games, and whatever other nonsense I used to throw against the wall here. If that isn't your thing, and you would rather read real reviews, there are plenty of other places to get that fix, and I'd be happy to recommend a few, I have talented friends. The Batcave will more or less be a written version of Werewolves, so if you dig that, or just want to casually chat about geek culture, or hockey, feel free to stop by from time to time. I'll wrap this up simply with a "thank you". Thank you to anybody who ever stopped by here, to anyone who commented, to the friends I've made via this little blog, I appreciate each and every one of you.

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