Crash Course in Zombie Killing

Well it's here, the first and likely only campaign expansion for Valve's zombie co-op masterpiece is available for download. Disappointing that this is all we will be getting in lieu of a direct sequel coming next month, which while I'm sure will be just as good as the first, seems a bit rushed in my opinon. I'm still getting it of course, but still.

I've played through Crash Course, and despite only two chapters instead of the standard four, feels like it lasts closer to 2/3 the length instead of only half. Longer chapters, especially the first, help lengthen the experience. It begins directly after the helicopter used to escape the rooftops in No Mercy crashes in an alley. The survivors must work their way through the city, across the river via a bridge, and eventually through a truck yard where you must power up a generator in order to lower the escape vehicle, which looks like the bread truck from hell. Think Dead Wreckoning from Land of the Dead and you start to get the idea.

The content will set you back $560 MS points, and adds 10 possible achievements to the game, most of which are of course multiplayer related which all but assures that yours truly will never get most of them as I didn't really enjoy the versus play on L4D. Ah well, I'm still topping 40K by the end of the year, and I'm sure Left 4 Dead 2 will be going a long way towards helping me achieve that lofty goal.

Remember kids....

Dreaming of a good Trailer

Thoughts on Jennifer's Body

The movie ya pervs! So yeah, I know, ANOTHER teen horror flick. And yeah, I know, it has Megan Fox in it, who is probably the single worst person getting paid to be in movies since Nicolas Cage soiled his first film cell (oh yeah, I said it). But it's written by Diablo Cody, and well the fact that she was responsible for Juno should almost dictate that Jennifer's Body is worth at least 90 minutes of your life.

In case you've been living under a rock, or your Anit-Fox instinct is so strong that it's prevented you from hearing anything about this one, here's your basic plot breakdown: Jennifer (Megan Fox) and Needy (Amanda Seyfried!!!) are BFF's, and have been since they were little girls. This is your typical in movie-land only relationship between the popular, bitchy ice queen cheerleader and the almost non-existant, nerdy, artsy girl. One night Jennifer drags Needy out to a bar to see a band she finds on MySpace (UGH), and a fire breaks out during the performance, killing some of their classmates and other random people there. Needy and Jennifer escape through a bathroom window, and are met outside by the band, who Jennifer was all over inside before the fire.



Despite Needy's protest, they talk Jennifer into getting into their van, and drive off. When she finds her way back to Needy's house later that night, she's covered in blood, and all sorts of weird shit starts going down. Turns out that the band had come across some ritual on the internet (UGH again) that would grant them fortune and fame, and all they needed to do was recite a chant and sacrifice a virgin. Unfortunately they picked the wrong girl. How they didn't realize this is beyond me, Jennifer's obviously about as close to being a virgin as Megan Fox is in real life, in fact she informs us at one point during the movie that she's "not even a back door virgin anymore" which made me laugh.



So here's the thing about sacrificing a non-virgin, the body apparently doesn't die, and a Demonic Transference takes place. So Jennifer is posessed by a demon, and in order to maintain her strength, she feeds on teenage boys, which I'm sure isn't too far off from what Megan Fox actually does on a daily basis when she isn't being the worst actress in the world. Of course Needy would eventually figure out what happened to Jennifer and decides she must stop her, but only after they make out for a while... I'll say that again, they make out for a while. Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried totally make out. Like tongues and everything.



Ok, now that you're back, was I right or was I right? Ahem. Anyway, back to the movie. I purposely avoided any reviews on this one before seeing it, as the internet is full of people who enjoy hating absolutely everything in the world, and I wanted to form my own opinion without any direct or indirect influence. And I may get shunned for saying this, but I enjoyed the movie. Sure, the body count was low, and what did happen generally happened off-screen but I was expecting both of those things. There were some cringe-worthy moments, especially in the dialog department, but Cody was writing teenage girls here and I guess that was the point. I was a bit disappointed that what probably would've been the best scene of the movie (other than the make out scene) was shown only in crime scene photos as the credits rolled. Oh, and keep your eyes open for a Lance Henriksen cameo!

Overall, I'd give this movie a C+, and if anybody other than Megan Fox had been Jennifer, probably bump that to a B-. I'm not really sure what Diablo Cody was going for here, by dipping her toe in the horror pool, and while she manages to write and produce an entertaining movie, I definitely think that drama/dark humor is her stronger suit. But definitely give it a watch, and don't worry about horror snobs turning their noses up to you. You've got a friend in me.

Scareperson

Well, as suspected, I have been busy this week, however it wasn't all ODST related. Less said about that, the better though.

Everybody see today's Woot! shirt? I loves me an evil scarecrow, and as we all know, I loves me a t-shirt, which makes a purchase your basic no-brainer. For your latest entry in the Closet of Awesome, I present Scareperson:

ODST

I'll probably be busy this week....

Finally watched Watchmen

Yeah I know I said I wasn't gonna, and I held out as long as humanly possible, but I read the comics again last week, and my curiosity finally got the best of me. What did I think? Well, the following image sums it up nicely, with Batman representing The Dark Knight, and Rorshach representing Zack Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen:



I will say though, that despite all the hate from the fanboys, it really wasn't that bad of a movie. I doubt I'll ever watch it again, but I don't regret seeing it. Three hours and 6 minutes is a tad on the long side for me though. And at time it did seem to drag a little. Still I doubt we'll ever see a better Watchmen movie, as to whether or not it ever should've been made, I still find myself on the "nay" side of the argument, though not as adamantly as some of you.

Umm...

Remember how when Blackest Night was first being talked about, and all the Marvel fanboys claimed that DC was just copying the Marvel Zombies series? Ahem, well here's "X Necrosha", a new X-Force crossover that's coming up soon, and well...I'll just let you read the solicit for yourself.

Death has come to the X-Men. The one true Black Queen has returned, and she wants nothing less than every soul of mutantkind...dead or alive. And everyone that's ever crossed Selene is going to pay. The dead rise, familiar faces haunt mutants across the world, and Selene takes her final steps into becoming a god. It all begins here in a full-length X-FORCE extravaganza, and continues in the pages of next month’s issue of X-FORCE…but the shockwaves of this terrifying event will be felt in NEW MUTANTS and X-MEN: LEGACY as well, and those reverberations begin here in two all-new bonus tales.

Wow. Just.....just wow.

Comic of the Week 9/16

Well it's Wednesday again, and holy hell are there a lot of good comics out this week. If not for the fact that a new issue of Batman and Robin was out, I honestly don't know which book I would've gone with. Contenders from every corner of the DCU, and yet another issue of the "it just keeps getting better" Walking Dead from Image.

However there can only be one pick of the week, and Batman and Robin #4 is undoubtedly the greatest thing happening to your comic shop today.

Comic of the Week

Ok so those first three issues were about as good as superhero comics get, amiright? Morrison follows the first arc up with a visit from the Red Hood, but it's not Jason Todd, is it? Or is it? Hell I can't keep up anymore. Phillip Tan takes over art chores for this arc to give Frank Quitely a rest, and well I'm afraid that while he's a capable artist, his work is going to look like shit following Quitely. But I'm hoping that it's not too much of a distraction and Morrison continues to produce fun, coherent Batman stories for Dick and Damien, which is a feat he never accomplished while writing Bruce. It's on you, solicit:

"Meet the Red Hood and his sidekick Scarlet, Gotham City's vicious new protectors, in the start of a new arc! This dangerous duo is out to destroy the very reputation and legacy of the Batman by replacing it altogether. Writer Grant Morrison (FINAL CRISIS) teams with hot new artist Philip Tan (GREEN LANTERN) to bring you what's sure to be the new Batman and Robin's biggest challenge yet!"

Honorable mentions for pretty much every other book on my pull list, seriously. Specifically however, give Blackest Night #3, Batman Streets of Gotham #4, Marvel Zombies Return #3, Vengeance of Moon Knight #1, Walking Dead #65, and of course Wednesday Comics #11 looks. And if you have any money left over, a writer some of you may have heard of before, some guy named J. Michael Straczynski is taking over Brave and the Bold with issue #27 and rumor has it that it just may be worth your time.

The Pull List

• Amazing Spider-man #605
• Batgirl #2
  
• Batman and Robin #4
• Batman and Robin #4 Incentive Philip Tan variant
• Batman Streets of Gotham #4
• Blackest Night #3
• Brave and the Bold #27
• Captain America Reborn #3
• Deadpool Merc with a Mouth #3
• Marvel Zombies Return #3
• Outsiders #22
• Vengeance of Moon Knight #1
• Walking Dead #65
• Wednesday Comics #11
  

Rest In Peace Patrick Swayze

1952-2009

A lot of you remember him from Dirty Dancing, but to me he will always be a roundhouse kicking bouncer from a dive bar, and a bank robbing, sky diving surfer mentor to Keanu Reeves.

Rest in peace Mr. Swayze, here's hoping you're roundhousing angels in heaven...

Wild Country

Seriously I could write not only a book, but a series of books about bad werewolf movies. Unfortunately my love of lycanthropes dictates that I watch as many movies based on them as humanly possible, no matter how bad I know they're going to be. For some reason the werewolf seems to be a creature that few will ever get right, for every Silver Bullet there are a hundred Werewolf 96's, for every Ginger Snaps there are a hundred Romasanta's. The werewolf genre is definitely one that is not exactly littered with shining examples, though the ones that are really good tend to be held in the highest regard, An American Werewolf in London, anyone?



Well tonight I treated myself to one of Netflix's newest recommendations from the werewolf section (yes they have a werewolf section, and yes I've seen pretty much every film in it), Wild Country. The movie had pretty much every single thing wrong with it that you can imagine, though in it's defense it's biggest offense was probably not entirely it's fault. I REALLY want to believe that the reason the werewolves looked like muppets was because of budgetary constraints, because there's simply no way anyone saw these things before filming started and thought they had struck lycanthropic gold. I was embarrassed for them.



The story itself tried, and I give the writers credit for that, the story at least kept me interested. A group of kids are doing an overnight hike through what appeared to be the Scottish Moors when they hear a baby crying from a nearby abandoned castle. They head out toward the sobs, find and rescue the baby, and then are one by one taken out by the beast.



There's a little twist at the end, which I saw coming from pretty much the very first time the baby was introduced, but still I can't fault them for at least attempting something different. Other than that, there's not much to like here. Gorehounds may come away feeling somewhat satisfied by the throat ripping, which there was plenty of, and one scene where the larger werewolf bit a guy almost in half, spilling entrails.

All that said, if you like werewolf flicks as much as I do, you're probably still planning on watching it, and I feel for you. For those of the not-so-die hard werewolf fan variety, save your 80 minutes and go watch Ginger Snaps Unleashed again. You'll thank me for it.

Supernatural Returns!

That's right kids, it's been a long summer but tonight the best thing that ever happened to network television returns to glorious dominance of my Thursday evenings!!! Rejoice! Supernatural season 5 is upon us all!!!

Get your ass up to speed

Comic of the Week 9/10

Ok so I left you hanging last week and I know you were disappointed. Truth is the comic I was most looking forward to actually ended up being the one I most enjoyed for a change! And it was a Marvel book, I'm ashamed to admit. Honestly though, what Jason Aaron is doing in Ghost Rider really shouldn't be missed, it's legendary. Seriously, what do we gotta do to get that guy on a Bat-book?

That was last week though, and this is this week, so on to the new stuff! This is one of those weeks where there are some solid contenders as I'm tempted by a double dose of zombie from the big two, new Blackest Night Batman and Marvel Zombies come close, but there's new Hellboy out there, and Hellboy reigns supreme.

Comic of the Week

Hellboy: Wild Hunt #6 should be waiting patiently in the pull box of everyone intelligent enough to recognize comic book perfection when they see it. I've gone on and on about this series before, so I won't bore you with a re-tread, but I will say that I enjoyed the Monster Men back-up last issue and I'm looking forward to more of that this time around. Solicit say this:

"With the Queen of Blood's legion of followers growing ever larger, it's clear that Hellboy needs to find some powerful allies of his own if he's to have any hope of saving humankind. As luck would have it, it seems one has found him. But this mysterious benefactor,an ancient sorceress of legendary power and ambition, has an agenda of her own...on behalf of Hellboy's ancestors! This issue also includes the action-packed conclusion of Gary Gianni's two-part return to The MonsterMen!"

Honorable mention nods to the aforementioned Blackest Night Batman #2 and Marvel Zombies Return #2, and the not aforementioned but still ass kicking Wednesday Comics #10.

The Pull List

• Amazing Spider-man #604
• Blackest Night Batman #2
• BPRD 1947 #3
• Dead Space Extraction One Shot
  
• Elephantmen #21
• Freddy vs Jason vs Ash: Nightmare Warriors #3
• Green Lantern Corps #40
• Hellboy: Wild Hunt #6
• Marvel Zombies Return #2
• Red Robin #4
• Wednesday Comics #10
  

Skeletons in my Closet

It's been noted before on several occasions that yours truly is quite the t-shirt whore. I could wear a different t-shirt every day for somewhere around 10 years at this point. I blame the internet as it's a veritable cornucopia of cheap, often poorly made, t-shirts of varying levels of awesomeness.

So I've added a few to the closet here lately, and I thought "why not post about them at the blog?", so I am. I'm even adding a new label for it.... Welcome friends, to the very first "Skeletons in the Closet" post!

For our first entry today, feast your eyes on Woot!'s "Cthulhu BBQ" shirt. For those not in the know, Woot! is one of those sites that posts a daily deal, and when it sells out, it's gone and another deal goes up the next day. They have a separate site for t-shirts, and they run weekly derbies that artists can enter designs for. Cthulhu BBQ is without a doubt the most awesome shirt to ever be featured on the site. Some of you may even remember my begging for votes for it back when the derby was running. Well it didn't win (thanks for nothing fuckers!) but thankfully one of the editors at Woot! was intelligent enough to recognize awesome when he saw it, and made it an editor's choice.

Second, another recent Woot! purchase, "Head Shot". This one wasn't part of a derby, just one of their random posted designs. It's a zombie target thingie for target practice, and well that more than made it worth my $10. Plus I really dig the art. I'm finding so far that the regular folk in my hometown aren't quite sure what to make of it though, and being that I live in a small Alabama town, with plenty of people who hunt and fire weapons for fun and entertainment, the idea of walking around with a target on my chest may not be the smartest one I've ever had. Though admittedly it does add an element of danger that I find is generally missing when I get dressed in the morning. So bonus points for that!

And finally, my most recent acquisition, Dark Horse's "Eye Heart Creepy" shirt. Everybody remember Creepy? The mag from the 60's that was like Tales From the Crypt only better and not from EC? Creepy had lots of Frazetta covers and lots of Bernie Wrightson interiors, and both are factors leading towards my hearting of Creepy. Dark Horse has just recently started reprinting Creepy in hardcover collections, and also started up a brand new Creepy comic, which Eric Powell is contributing to, and yup, you guessed it, I heart it too.

Freddy in Love

Another indescribably awesome find stolen directly from the Vault of Horror over there in the bloggers list! Animated Freddy! I love it...

It's War Eagle time baby!

So yeah I meant to do this earlier in the week, but what the hell. Last night I was fortunate enough witness the ass whipping that Auburn handed Louisiana Tech in person. It was amazing as always to be in Jordan Hare with 80,000+ fellow Auburn fans cheering on the Tigers.

The offense started off slowly, and the defense looked undisciplined taking way too many stupid penalties in the first half. The second half would prove to be a different story though, as we absolutely dominated on both sides of the football. Final score would be 37-13, and I would get to witness the longest play from scrimmage in Auburn football history!

So here's the Auburn Football 09 preview video for your viewing pleasure. Anybody posting any "roll tide" or other Alabama related stupid redneck comments will be permanently banned from the Batcave, mkay?

Infinite Playlist - Zombie Slide

So the godfathers of the Dark Carnival have once again returned, dropping the album Bang, Pow, Boom! on the masses. After several disappointing outings over the last few years, I'm proud to report that ICP is indeed back, and we owe it all to long-time Psychopathic producer Mike E. Clark.

For whatever reason, Mike and Insane Clown Posse parted ways after The Amazing Jeckel Brothers, which coincidentally was the last really good ICP album in my opinion. I guess they've resolved their issues now though, as Mike is back and Bang, Pow, Boom! is as old school a record as we could possibly have hoped for. I'm actually excited about ICP music again for the first time in way too long!

While it would be hard to pick a new favorite from BPB!, this one is certainly one of the front-runners. I'd put it up against anything on Riddle Box, I personally think it's that good. Check out "Zombie Slide" and decide for yourself...just don't spray your mom's living room down with Diet Rootbeer Faygo. That shit is hard to get clean.

ZOMBIE SLIDE - Insane Clown Posse

Left 4 Dead 2 invaded by the Dark Carnival!

I officially take back every single bad thing I've had to say about Valve and Left 4 Dead 2. I can say with a high degree of certainty that this will be the second best $60 I spend this year, with Arkham Asylum of course being the first.

Courtesy of Joystiq, I give you screens of the Dark Carnival campaign! No word yet on whether or not ICP or Twiztid will make cameos.....