Crash Course in Zombie Killing

Well it's here, the first and likely only campaign expansion for Valve's zombie co-op masterpiece is available for download. Disappointing that this is all we will be getting in lieu of a direct sequel coming next month, which while I'm sure will be just as good as the first, seems a bit rushed in my opinon. I'm still getting it of course, but still.

I've played through Crash Course, and despite only two chapters instead of the standard four, feels like it lasts closer to 2/3 the length instead of only half. Longer chapters, especially the first, help lengthen the experience. It begins directly after the helicopter used to escape the rooftops in No Mercy crashes in an alley. The survivors must work their way through the city, across the river via a bridge, and eventually through a truck yard where you must power up a generator in order to lower the escape vehicle, which looks like the bread truck from hell. Think Dead Wreckoning from Land of the Dead and you start to get the idea.

The content will set you back $560 MS points, and adds 10 possible achievements to the game, most of which are of course multiplayer related which all but assures that yours truly will never get most of them as I didn't really enjoy the versus play on L4D. Ah well, I'm still topping 40K by the end of the year, and I'm sure Left 4 Dead 2 will be going a long way towards helping me achieve that lofty goal.

Remember kids....

Dreaming of a good Trailer

Thoughts on Jennifer's Body

The movie ya pervs! So yeah, I know, ANOTHER teen horror flick. And yeah, I know, it has Megan Fox in it, who is probably the single worst person getting paid to be in movies since Nicolas Cage soiled his first film cell (oh yeah, I said it). But it's written by Diablo Cody, and well the fact that she was responsible for Juno should almost dictate that Jennifer's Body is worth at least 90 minutes of your life.

In case you've been living under a rock, or your Anit-Fox instinct is so strong that it's prevented you from hearing anything about this one, here's your basic plot breakdown: Jennifer (Megan Fox) and Needy (Amanda Seyfried!!!) are BFF's, and have been since they were little girls. This is your typical in movie-land only relationship between the popular, bitchy ice queen cheerleader and the almost non-existant, nerdy, artsy girl. One night Jennifer drags Needy out to a bar to see a band she finds on MySpace (UGH), and a fire breaks out during the performance, killing some of their classmates and other random people there. Needy and Jennifer escape through a bathroom window, and are met outside by the band, who Jennifer was all over inside before the fire.



Despite Needy's protest, they talk Jennifer into getting into their van, and drive off. When she finds her way back to Needy's house later that night, she's covered in blood, and all sorts of weird shit starts going down. Turns out that the band had come across some ritual on the internet (UGH again) that would grant them fortune and fame, and all they needed to do was recite a chant and sacrifice a virgin. Unfortunately they picked the wrong girl. How they didn't realize this is beyond me, Jennifer's obviously about as close to being a virgin as Megan Fox is in real life, in fact she informs us at one point during the movie that she's "not even a back door virgin anymore" which made me laugh.



So here's the thing about sacrificing a non-virgin, the body apparently doesn't die, and a Demonic Transference takes place. So Jennifer is posessed by a demon, and in order to maintain her strength, she feeds on teenage boys, which I'm sure isn't too far off from what Megan Fox actually does on a daily basis when she isn't being the worst actress in the world. Of course Needy would eventually figure out what happened to Jennifer and decides she must stop her, but only after they make out for a while... I'll say that again, they make out for a while. Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried totally make out. Like tongues and everything.



Ok, now that you're back, was I right or was I right? Ahem. Anyway, back to the movie. I purposely avoided any reviews on this one before seeing it, as the internet is full of people who enjoy hating absolutely everything in the world, and I wanted to form my own opinion without any direct or indirect influence. And I may get shunned for saying this, but I enjoyed the movie. Sure, the body count was low, and what did happen generally happened off-screen but I was expecting both of those things. There were some cringe-worthy moments, especially in the dialog department, but Cody was writing teenage girls here and I guess that was the point. I was a bit disappointed that what probably would've been the best scene of the movie (other than the make out scene) was shown only in crime scene photos as the credits rolled. Oh, and keep your eyes open for a Lance Henriksen cameo!

Overall, I'd give this movie a C+, and if anybody other than Megan Fox had been Jennifer, probably bump that to a B-. I'm not really sure what Diablo Cody was going for here, by dipping her toe in the horror pool, and while she manages to write and produce an entertaining movie, I definitely think that drama/dark humor is her stronger suit. But definitely give it a watch, and don't worry about horror snobs turning their noses up to you. You've got a friend in me.

Scareperson

Well, as suspected, I have been busy this week, however it wasn't all ODST related. Less said about that, the better though.

Everybody see today's Woot! shirt? I loves me an evil scarecrow, and as we all know, I loves me a t-shirt, which makes a purchase your basic no-brainer. For your latest entry in the Closet of Awesome, I present Scareperson:

ODST

I'll probably be busy this week....

Finally watched Watchmen

Yeah I know I said I wasn't gonna, and I held out as long as humanly possible, but I read the comics again last week, and my curiosity finally got the best of me. What did I think? Well, the following image sums it up nicely, with Batman representing The Dark Knight, and Rorshach representing Zack Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen:



I will say though, that despite all the hate from the fanboys, it really wasn't that bad of a movie. I doubt I'll ever watch it again, but I don't regret seeing it. Three hours and 6 minutes is a tad on the long side for me though. And at time it did seem to drag a little. Still I doubt we'll ever see a better Watchmen movie, as to whether or not it ever should've been made, I still find myself on the "nay" side of the argument, though not as adamantly as some of you.

Umm...

Remember how when Blackest Night was first being talked about, and all the Marvel fanboys claimed that DC was just copying the Marvel Zombies series? Ahem, well here's "X Necrosha", a new X-Force crossover that's coming up soon, and well...I'll just let you read the solicit for yourself.

Death has come to the X-Men. The one true Black Queen has returned, and she wants nothing less than every soul of mutantkind...dead or alive. And everyone that's ever crossed Selene is going to pay. The dead rise, familiar faces haunt mutants across the world, and Selene takes her final steps into becoming a god. It all begins here in a full-length X-FORCE extravaganza, and continues in the pages of next month’s issue of X-FORCE…but the shockwaves of this terrifying event will be felt in NEW MUTANTS and X-MEN: LEGACY as well, and those reverberations begin here in two all-new bonus tales.

Wow. Just.....just wow.

Comic of the Week 9/16

Well it's Wednesday again, and holy hell are there a lot of good comics out this week. If not for the fact that a new issue of Batman and Robin was out, I honestly don't know which book I would've gone with. Contenders from every corner of the DCU, and yet another issue of the "it just keeps getting better" Walking Dead from Image.

However there can only be one pick of the week, and Batman and Robin #4 is undoubtedly the greatest thing happening to your comic shop today.

Comic of the Week

Ok so those first three issues were about as good as superhero comics get, amiright? Morrison follows the first arc up with a visit from the Red Hood, but it's not Jason Todd, is it? Or is it? Hell I can't keep up anymore. Phillip Tan takes over art chores for this arc to give Frank Quitely a rest, and well I'm afraid that while he's a capable artist, his work is going to look like shit following Quitely. But I'm hoping that it's not too much of a distraction and Morrison continues to produce fun, coherent Batman stories for Dick and Damien, which is a feat he never accomplished while writing Bruce. It's on you, solicit:

"Meet the Red Hood and his sidekick Scarlet, Gotham City's vicious new protectors, in the start of a new arc! This dangerous duo is out to destroy the very reputation and legacy of the Batman by replacing it altogether. Writer Grant Morrison (FINAL CRISIS) teams with hot new artist Philip Tan (GREEN LANTERN) to bring you what's sure to be the new Batman and Robin's biggest challenge yet!"

Honorable mentions for pretty much every other book on my pull list, seriously. Specifically however, give Blackest Night #3, Batman Streets of Gotham #4, Marvel Zombies Return #3, Vengeance of Moon Knight #1, Walking Dead #65, and of course Wednesday Comics #11 looks. And if you have any money left over, a writer some of you may have heard of before, some guy named J. Michael Straczynski is taking over Brave and the Bold with issue #27 and rumor has it that it just may be worth your time.

The Pull List

• Amazing Spider-man #605
• Batgirl #2
  
• Batman and Robin #4
• Batman and Robin #4 Incentive Philip Tan variant
• Batman Streets of Gotham #4
• Blackest Night #3
• Brave and the Bold #27
• Captain America Reborn #3
• Deadpool Merc with a Mouth #3
• Marvel Zombies Return #3
• Outsiders #22
• Vengeance of Moon Knight #1
• Walking Dead #65
• Wednesday Comics #11
  

Rest In Peace Patrick Swayze

1952-2009

A lot of you remember him from Dirty Dancing, but to me he will always be a roundhouse kicking bouncer from a dive bar, and a bank robbing, sky diving surfer mentor to Keanu Reeves.

Rest in peace Mr. Swayze, here's hoping you're roundhousing angels in heaven...