My Trip to the Wax Museum

Or "Why Bonesy should never be allowed out in public". Took mini-me to Tennessee over the weekend for one last hurrah before he started the Big K today. That's "kindergarten" by the way, not the soda. Whilst there, we decided to visit a wax museum, and well, I think the results in these photos speak for themselves.





Much to my surprise, Hef declined my offer to pose for a spread. I was even gonna wear the ears and everything! His loss...



Nope, I ain't above pick pocketing a blind dude.



I ran into Nic Cage in his Ghost Rider attire, and decided to let him know exactly what I thought about there ever being a potential sequel to that atrocity. Oh and I checked, and yep, those 6 pack abs were totally computer generated. Told ya!



As you can tell here from my iconic, statuesque physique, the training, prayers, and vitamins really do pay off.



Here are some small children posing with Charlie's Angels...wait, who is that guy and what is he doing to Lucy Liu?!



From the look on her face, I could tell that Angelina was enjoying this, though clearly not as much as I was.



After being told many times over that I never use it, I decided to just go ahead and give my brain to Leatherface instead of making him go through all the trouble of chasing me through the woods and chainsawing my head off to get to it. He thanked me, and then chainsawed me anyway.



Upon running into my boy Freddy at the museum, I immediately threw my hand up for a high five, and regretted it shortly thereafter.



Had a little bit of a bone to pick with my homie Jason after he needlessly killed the chick with the nicest boobs on Earth, he's still my boy and all, but I had to say something....



...needless to say, this went pretty much as expected.



While I was incapacitated, the Riddler sprang into action and attempted to choke out the kid!



I of course went immediately to Batman for help, and after a surprising amount of coercion, he eventually sprang into action.



I took this opportunity to spring into a little action of my own with Catwoman. Side note, notice how bored, and unimpressed she looks. Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with this look, as it's shared by almost all of the real women who have also found themselves in similar situations throughout my life....



All's well that ends well though, and surprisingly I would make it out of the wax museum sans handcuffs or police escort, but not before a bedtime story from your friend and mine, the Crypt Keeper.

The moral of this story, don't ever go anywhere with me, and for God's sake if you're going to open a wax museum of your own, be sure and enclose the exhibits in glass cases, or at the very least rope them off!