Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Oh Halo, how I've missed you....

After some expected technical difficulty on day one, I've finally gotten a chance to get a few rounds of the Halo Reach beta in. My initial reaction was "jetpacks, oh hell yes", and while the jetpacks are in fact pretty dope, unfortunately not everything is new, and the exact same retards who have been playing Halo multiplayer for years are most definitely playing Reach.

My first match was team slayer, and silly me assuming the controls hadn't changed, didn't do too well. I mean why would I think they would be the same? Maybe because they've been the fucking same since Combat Evolved way back in 2001? In any event, I spent most of the round attempting to buck the system and use the old controls whether Reach liked it or not. We lost. Bad.

My second match didn't go much better, and this is where your Halotards come in. This one was one flag ctf on Sword Base. As soon as the match started, the other 3 members of my team all turned their assault rifles on me, teabagged my corpse, and then dropped from the game, leaving me to respawn alone, against the entire opposing team. Most people would quit, but oh I'm WAY too hardheaded for that. So for the next 10-15 minutes, I was repeatedly killed by the four of them, and while I did manage to get in several kills of my own, I never captured the flag, though I did manage to actually grab and move it a couple times. After the first half of the game, instead of admiring my "never say die" style of gameplay, they decided that the appropriate course of action for a 4 vs 1 game was to take turns teabagging me after every death. After the match in the lobby I was of course bombarded with the usual "faggot" and "noob" comments. Halotards are classy if nothing else.

I've had some good rounds since these two though, got my controls back the way I like them, and I'm digging the armor abilities big time. I'm still excited about Reach, but I'm REALLY hoping for a return to my old Friday night Halo nights with friends instead of the all too frequent Halotard sessions. We'll see.

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