Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Mister Bones' Top 5

Location, location, location! Was thinking about this the other day, about how some games have certain locations, or towns, or even planets that they're known for. Places that as soon as you mention them, everybody already knows exactly what you're talking about. Then I got to thinking, what about everybody else in these places, other than the game's main characters? We all know Chris Redfield is gonna make it out of Raccoon City, he's a highly trained member of S.T.A.R.S. but what bout John Smith who was just in town vacationing? Or Jane Doe who had only flown into town for a business meeting with Umbrella? This lead to my thinking about which video game  places I would most like to visit myself, and that is Top 5 material if I've ever seen it.

Mister Bones Top 5 Video Game Locales I'd Like to Visit

5. Helghan (Killzone) - It wouldn't take much to talk me into joining the Helghast. Not because I believe in Scolar Visari or his campaign to forcefully overtake the universe and crush it in his iron grip of tyranny, but because the Helghast wear the goddamn coolest uniforms EVER. I don't know what it is about the whole gas mask thing that does it for me, but I've always been a sucker for them. You give me one of those uniforms and an assault rifle and I'll follow you anywhere.

4. Willamette Parkview Mall (Dead Rising) - I normally don't do malls, I despise them. I go to the mall exactly two times a year, once at Easter for the kids to get Easter Bunny pictures, and once at Xmas for the kids to get Santa Claus pictures. The Willamette Parkview Mall though? I'd spend my every waking moment there. There's a gun and knife store, toy stores, a gym, a massive food court, a grocery store, a hardware store, a movie theater, a park outside, psychopaths, cultists, zombies, and the list goes on and on. You simply don't find that amount of entertainment in ONCE place often. When you do, why would you ever want to leave? I wouldn't.

3. Castlevania (Castlevania) - A must visit for absolutely anybody who loves the Universal Monsters, they're ALL here. Dracula really brings em out, with zombies, Medusa, Mummy, Frankenstein, Wolfman, Creature from the Black Lagoon, and even the Grim Reaper himself amongst all other kinds of ghosts and goblins. You have to plan ahead for this one though, as it's more than likely a once in a lifetime thing. Dracula's famous castle only appears once every hundred years or so, and there's always a pesky Belmont descendant looking to throw a monkeywrench, or whip, into the big D's resurrection party. I think I'd be right at home in the middle of this monster mash.

2. Raccoon City (Resident Evil) - Sadly it was blown to hell at the end of the second game, but even though it only got a couple years screen time, it's legacy burned a permanent place in my brain, and I could tell that Raccoon City was my kind of city. The Umbrella Corporation took an average mid-western metropolis and made it AWESOME with little more than a couple of bio-weapon accidents. Zombies, zombie Dobermans, Lickers, Hunters, giant snakes, giant sharks, giant alligators in the sewers, and who could forget the Tyrant and Nemesis? If Raccoon City was a real place, I'd be booking me an extended stay in that infamous mansion today.

1. Silent Hill (Silent Hill) - Hands down the most awesome town in video game history. This one is hard to describe really, as it is apparently different for everybody who visits. I can only imagine what my own Silent Hill would be like. On the outside, it looks like any other serene, small town, but once the fog rolls in and the siren sounds, Silent Hill is literally transformed into Hell. A Hell of your own making. You can count on puzzles, run down hospitals full of faceless, evil nurses and Pyramid Head and his giant sword. Yep if Silent Hill was real town, fuck visiting, go ahead and forward my mail because I'm gonna be a permanent resident.

Those are the top 5, but the list goes on and on. Reach, Lego Gotham, Sera, Rapture, the Ishimura, and you can even sign me up for some mortal kombat on Outworld. There are countless video game places that I'd rather be than here in boring old real life. Got any other suggestions for video game vacationing?

1 comment:

Zombie said...

I would love to go to the dead rising world, all the zombies are slow and easy to kill! :D