Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Why Won't You Die...Carter?

As if being played by Paul Reiser isn't bad enough, Carter Burke is the absolute epitome of lying, backstabbing, greedy corporate scum. Sure, it probably wasn't his idea to double-cross Ripley and an entire platoon of space marines, whom he had duped into believing his intention for returning to LV-426 was to investigate what happened to the colony there which had gone silent, when in actuality he was ordered to catch a Xenomorph alive and bring it back with him. But even if all he was doing was carrying out orders from the higher-ups, he didn't have to be such a little bitch about it.

When the plan starts looking like it's not going to work, this douche even goes so far as to release a face-hugger in Ripley and Newt's sleeping quarters while they're catching some z's. Not cool man. As if that wasn't bad enough, even though he'd basically gotten almost everyone involved killed, he probably still would've survived if not for the fact that he was such a pussy. When the marines realize what he was up to, before they can administer the ass-whipping of a lifetime, there's a Xenomorph attack, during which bitch-boy Carter makes an exit through the back door, locking it behind him and trapping the marines, Newt, and Ripley inside with the aliens. Thankfully, as he turns around he's greeted with the business end of a Xenomorph tongue, and the red stuff splatters against the door he thought he was escaping from. Poetic justice if I've ever heard it. Let's all hope this bitch is french kissing Xenomorphs in Hell.

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