Props to the Vault of Horror (which you can find over there on your right) for the find on this one. I'm no fan of Jacko, but credit where credit is due, the Thriller video is amazing.
I kinda like this one better though....
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Mister Bones' Top 5
As I'm sure you've figured out for yourselves, my absence from The Batcave this past week was largely due to the fact that a video game starring a certain Dark Knight was released and has taken the gaming world by storm. Apologies, but this game absolutely owns my soul right now.
I wanted to take a little time though, to reflect on Batman's often cringe-inducing career in gaming. While not as bad a Superman's, it's definitely been a bumpy road for Batman *cough*Dark Tomorrow*cough*. That's not to say they've all been bad though, there have been some genuinely good Batman games over the years. As expected, yours truly has played 'em all, both the good and the bad.
Sounds like it's time for another Top 5, don't it?
5. Batman (NES) - My very first Batman video game, the NES classic. Like most games of it's time, this thing was insanely difficult, especially for a kid my age. My love for Batman wouldn't allow me to give up though, and I would eventually finish this thing (which is a feat that I do not believe I have the skill or patience for today). Remember that opening cinematic? I thought that was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Oh how far we've come....
4. Batman Vengeance (PS2) - This game came this close to being great. It did almost everything right, save for a couple of minor control issues, and some bad vehicle levels. Can't fault the devs for trying to mix things up a bit, but most of the effort was obviously put toward the on foot stuff. The game had some really memorable scenes and boss encounters (Mr. Freeze!) and worked with the style of the Animated Series beautifully. I would eventually 100% this one after several playthroughs on the PS2, and then again on the Gamecube. I also had the Gameboy Advance version, but well, the less said about it, the better.
3. Lego Batman (PS3) - This is without a doubt the cutest Batman game you will ever play. The combination of Lego and Batman is an idea that should've come along years ago, right around the time that chocolate and peanut butter was discovered. Thankfully though it eventually happened and gave way to this wonderful little game. This freakin' thing has EVERYBODY in it, on both the hero and villain side, and you get to play both sides! It requires several playthroughs of each level to complete 100%, as with every other Lego game, but getting to play in the Lego Bat-Universe makes it worth every minute.
2. The Adventures of Batman and Robin (SNES) - I tell you no lie when I tell you that I still have callouses on my thumbs from playing this game. This one is directly based off the Animated Series, and is probably the finest example of an action-platformer that I've ever played. I'm sure the fact that it's Batman has nothing to do with that though, ahem. Every level was self-contained and felt like playing through an episode of the show, and if that's not enough for you then I don't know exactly what your problem is, but you need to fix it. I actually went back through this one a couple of months ago on my Dreamcast, as both my SNES and games have somehow disappeared throughout my many moves since finishing high school. Thank God for roms!
1. Batman Arkham Asylum (PS3) - Technically I haven't finished this one yet, in fact I'm playing it so slowly that I've barely scratched the surface. So far I have about 10-12 hours on it, and I'm sitting at 12% completion. I'm playing this way on purpose as I refuse to miss anything, the game is that good. The time that was spent on every detail is absolutely amazing, and the little inside nods to comic fans make me squeal like a school girl. This is the Batman game that Batman fans have always wanted. If I absolutely had to nitpick one little thing, it would be the Bat-costume. Yes, graphically it looks amazing, but it's also the "armored" look from the movies, and I will always prefer the spandex (or whatever the hell that material is) from the comics. I'm rocking this one on the PS3 for several reasons, the first of which being that as I've gone on and on about before, I'm currently on Xbox 360 #5, and still on PS3 #1, and God help Microsoft if I got red ringed while playing this game. But the PS3 got exclusive challenge levels that allow you to play as Joker, and also gives you a Batcave to use in PS Home. These kind of little bonuses made the choice an easy one.
I hesitated for about half a second on whether or not to proclaim a game that I hadn't finished yet as the best, but I think it's safe to say, even at only 12%, that Arkham Asylum is the best Batman video game to date. In fact if the game ended at 13% it still would be. About the only way this could end up being less than perfect is if Batman dies after the first couple of levels, and the game then makes you play as the buddy-comedy duo of Snake-Lips and Twinkle-balls, the faggy vampire bitch from Twilight, who are tasked with transporting the top-secret script for GI Joe 2 to Stephen Sommers through the land of fairy sparkledust and butterflies.
There were a couple more that almost made the list, so I thought I'd give them honorable mention shouts.
First on the list is a beat 'em up on Xbox and PS2 called "The Rise of Sin Tzu", which was pretty good for a beat 'em up and featured a villain designed by Jim Lee. It's major flaw was a needless timer though, which made getting through all the waves of baddies more of a chore than an enjoyable gaming experience. Still the animated series style of the game was nicely done, and the Scarecrow boss fight was awesome. You could also play as Nightwing, and I've always said that more games should allow you play as Nightwing whether they're Batman-themed games or not. Nightwing and the Curious Village ftw!
And the other one was the obligatory movie cash-in from Batman Begins. This one was an action/stealth/platformer that was actually surprisingly good. The real star of the game though was the Tumbler levels which were done by the Burnout guys if I remember right. Your first time through required you to wear the movie Bat-suit, but you could eventually unlock lots of others, including the blue and gray with yellow oval logo, which may not excite anybody else, but I was giddy about. I think I ran through this one three times or so before putting it down.
There are your Top 5 Batman Games of all time! Agree or disagree? Then make your own damn list!
I wanted to take a little time though, to reflect on Batman's often cringe-inducing career in gaming. While not as bad a Superman's, it's definitely been a bumpy road for Batman *cough*Dark Tomorrow*cough*. That's not to say they've all been bad though, there have been some genuinely good Batman games over the years. As expected, yours truly has played 'em all, both the good and the bad.
Sounds like it's time for another Top 5, don't it?
Top 5 Batman Video Games
5. Batman (NES) - My very first Batman video game, the NES classic. Like most games of it's time, this thing was insanely difficult, especially for a kid my age. My love for Batman wouldn't allow me to give up though, and I would eventually finish this thing (which is a feat that I do not believe I have the skill or patience for today). Remember that opening cinematic? I thought that was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Oh how far we've come....
4. Batman Vengeance (PS2) - This game came this close to being great. It did almost everything right, save for a couple of minor control issues, and some bad vehicle levels. Can't fault the devs for trying to mix things up a bit, but most of the effort was obviously put toward the on foot stuff. The game had some really memorable scenes and boss encounters (Mr. Freeze!) and worked with the style of the Animated Series beautifully. I would eventually 100% this one after several playthroughs on the PS2, and then again on the Gamecube. I also had the Gameboy Advance version, but well, the less said about it, the better.
3. Lego Batman (PS3) - This is without a doubt the cutest Batman game you will ever play. The combination of Lego and Batman is an idea that should've come along years ago, right around the time that chocolate and peanut butter was discovered. Thankfully though it eventually happened and gave way to this wonderful little game. This freakin' thing has EVERYBODY in it, on both the hero and villain side, and you get to play both sides! It requires several playthroughs of each level to complete 100%, as with every other Lego game, but getting to play in the Lego Bat-Universe makes it worth every minute.
2. The Adventures of Batman and Robin (SNES) - I tell you no lie when I tell you that I still have callouses on my thumbs from playing this game. This one is directly based off the Animated Series, and is probably the finest example of an action-platformer that I've ever played. I'm sure the fact that it's Batman has nothing to do with that though, ahem. Every level was self-contained and felt like playing through an episode of the show, and if that's not enough for you then I don't know exactly what your problem is, but you need to fix it. I actually went back through this one a couple of months ago on my Dreamcast, as both my SNES and games have somehow disappeared throughout my many moves since finishing high school. Thank God for roms!
1. Batman Arkham Asylum (PS3) - Technically I haven't finished this one yet, in fact I'm playing it so slowly that I've barely scratched the surface. So far I have about 10-12 hours on it, and I'm sitting at 12% completion. I'm playing this way on purpose as I refuse to miss anything, the game is that good. The time that was spent on every detail is absolutely amazing, and the little inside nods to comic fans make me squeal like a school girl. This is the Batman game that Batman fans have always wanted. If I absolutely had to nitpick one little thing, it would be the Bat-costume. Yes, graphically it looks amazing, but it's also the "armored" look from the movies, and I will always prefer the spandex (or whatever the hell that material is) from the comics. I'm rocking this one on the PS3 for several reasons, the first of which being that as I've gone on and on about before, I'm currently on Xbox 360 #5, and still on PS3 #1, and God help Microsoft if I got red ringed while playing this game. But the PS3 got exclusive challenge levels that allow you to play as Joker, and also gives you a Batcave to use in PS Home. These kind of little bonuses made the choice an easy one.I hesitated for about half a second on whether or not to proclaim a game that I hadn't finished yet as the best, but I think it's safe to say, even at only 12%, that Arkham Asylum is the best Batman video game to date. In fact if the game ended at 13% it still would be. About the only way this could end up being less than perfect is if Batman dies after the first couple of levels, and the game then makes you play as the buddy-comedy duo of Snake-Lips and Twinkle-balls, the faggy vampire bitch from Twilight, who are tasked with transporting the top-secret script for GI Joe 2 to Stephen Sommers through the land of fairy sparkledust and butterflies.
There were a couple more that almost made the list, so I thought I'd give them honorable mention shouts.
First on the list is a beat 'em up on Xbox and PS2 called "The Rise of Sin Tzu", which was pretty good for a beat 'em up and featured a villain designed by Jim Lee. It's major flaw was a needless timer though, which made getting through all the waves of baddies more of a chore than an enjoyable gaming experience. Still the animated series style of the game was nicely done, and the Scarecrow boss fight was awesome. You could also play as Nightwing, and I've always said that more games should allow you play as Nightwing whether they're Batman-themed games or not. Nightwing and the Curious Village ftw!
And the other one was the obligatory movie cash-in from Batman Begins. This one was an action/stealth/platformer that was actually surprisingly good. The real star of the game though was the Tumbler levels which were done by the Burnout guys if I remember right. Your first time through required you to wear the movie Bat-suit, but you could eventually unlock lots of others, including the blue and gray with yellow oval logo, which may not excite anybody else, but I was giddy about. I think I ran through this one three times or so before putting it down.
There are your Top 5 Batman Games of all time! Agree or disagree? Then make your own damn list!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Kotobukiya 1:6 Scale Batman Statue
As promised, pics of my newest addition to the Batcave! Here's my Kotobukiya Batman statue....
All things considered, I think this is probably the nicest statue I have in the Batcave. It's freakin' huge too! Much larger than the Black and White statues and mini-busts that my meager earnings usually allow me.
As per usual, I do have one minor gripe or two, costume is too dark and par for the course, I prefer the yellow oval logo, but those are extremely minor nitpicks for a statue this good looking. I'm very happy with it to say the least.
All things considered, I think this is probably the nicest statue I have in the Batcave. It's freakin' huge too! Much larger than the Black and White statues and mini-busts that my meager earnings usually allow me.
As per usual, I do have one minor gripe or two, costume is too dark and par for the course, I prefer the yellow oval logo, but those are extremely minor nitpicks for a statue this good looking. I'm very happy with it to say the least.
Infinite Playlist - It Was a Good Day
In honor of yesterday being an absolutely epic Friday, I thought I'd throw the only reason to ever listen to an Ice Cube song on the Infinite Playlist.
I don't know what it was, but it just rained diamonds. Work was actually ok, lots of Batman comics shipped this week so I couldn't wait to get to the store afterwards, I got my Kotobukiya Batman statue (which you'll definitely be seeing pics of either later today or tomorrow), got home with all that Bat-related awesomeness and was getting all ready to play Arkham Asylum but went to the mailbox first, and what should I find but my new Woot! zombie shirt waiting there for me! Top it all off with a wonderful dinner, and Bones went to bed one happy s.o.b. I know that may not sound like much to anybody else, but for me that's a good day.
Anyway, back to Ice Cube, this track is featured on one of the only two Cube albums I ever bothered with, The Predator. While Mr. Cube does indeed describe what sounds like good times, I still think my day was better.
It Was A Good Day (Explicit) (Album Version) - Ice Cube
I don't know what it was, but it just rained diamonds. Work was actually ok, lots of Batman comics shipped this week so I couldn't wait to get to the store afterwards, I got my Kotobukiya Batman statue (which you'll definitely be seeing pics of either later today or tomorrow), got home with all that Bat-related awesomeness and was getting all ready to play Arkham Asylum but went to the mailbox first, and what should I find but my new Woot! zombie shirt waiting there for me! Top it all off with a wonderful dinner, and Bones went to bed one happy s.o.b. I know that may not sound like much to anybody else, but for me that's a good day.
Anyway, back to Ice Cube, this track is featured on one of the only two Cube albums I ever bothered with, The Predator. While Mr. Cube does indeed describe what sounds like good times, I still think my day was better.
It Was A Good Day (Explicit) (Album Version) - Ice Cube
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Pop Quiz!
What do Thomas Jane, Ron Pearlman, John Malkovich, Devon Aoki, and Sean Pertwee all have in common? Answer: they were all in a criminally overlooked film called...
I vaguely remember seeing a trailer or two for this, and then some ads on the back of some comics, and being that I must see all things with Thomas Jane, Sean Pertwee, Ron Pearlman, and of course Devoin Aoki, it was pretty much a given that I was interested in a movie that had all four. But then it just never came out, and I had no idea why.
So the dvd finally came out recently, and thanks to Netflix, I finally got a chance to sit down and watch it last night. Honestly, Mutant Chronicles doesn't break any new ground in storytelling, or any other aspect for that matter, but what it does do is entertain the hell out of you for almost 2 hours. The dialog is a bit hokey at times, sure...but what are we to expect from a movie based on a pen and paper tabletop rpg?
Your basic story is nothing you haven't seen a million times before, warring factions eventually cause the emergence of mutants from beneath the Earth's surface who seem determined to wipe out mankind. A secret brotherhood, who all believe in a book which foretold of the mutant uprising, send their chosen one (Pearlman) who is accompanied by a group of soldiers, into the heart of Mutant central to activate a bomb that will wipe them out.
Like I said, it's nothing original, but that doesn't mean it isn't a good movie. It's got some decent gore, a couple of laughs, and did I mention Devon Aoki? Definitely worth a rent, and I'm planning on eventually buying a copy. Check it out!
I vaguely remember seeing a trailer or two for this, and then some ads on the back of some comics, and being that I must see all things with Thomas Jane, Sean Pertwee, Ron Pearlman, and of course Devoin Aoki, it was pretty much a given that I was interested in a movie that had all four. But then it just never came out, and I had no idea why.
So the dvd finally came out recently, and thanks to Netflix, I finally got a chance to sit down and watch it last night. Honestly, Mutant Chronicles doesn't break any new ground in storytelling, or any other aspect for that matter, but what it does do is entertain the hell out of you for almost 2 hours. The dialog is a bit hokey at times, sure...but what are we to expect from a movie based on a pen and paper tabletop rpg?
Your basic story is nothing you haven't seen a million times before, warring factions eventually cause the emergence of mutants from beneath the Earth's surface who seem determined to wipe out mankind. A secret brotherhood, who all believe in a book which foretold of the mutant uprising, send their chosen one (Pearlman) who is accompanied by a group of soldiers, into the heart of Mutant central to activate a bomb that will wipe them out.
Like I said, it's nothing original, but that doesn't mean it isn't a good movie. It's got some decent gore, a couple of laughs, and did I mention Devon Aoki? Definitely worth a rent, and I'm planning on eventually buying a copy. Check it out!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wolfman trailer!
My favorite Universal Monster getting the remake treatment, and I gotta say that it looks amazing. And look at that, just in time for my birthday! Bring on February.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Comic of the Week 8/19
A day or two late, but nobody really cares anyway, I'm here with my pick of the week! This is another one of those weeks where nothing really jumps out at me. Some decent stuff, looking forward to the new Batgirl series, it still won't be Barbara but hopefully this new one will be better than Cassandra Cain was, and zombie Pa Kent attacks in Blackest Night Superman #1. I'm most definitely not looking forward to Justice League of American #36, as the series has gone from bad to just plain awful. Some of the worst JL comics I can ever remember reading. At least we've got some Paul Dini Batman to look forward to though!
Out of all the Batman Reborn, Gotham City Streets is probably my second favorite behind Batman and Robin. Basically this book is Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen continuing their excellent run from Detective Comics before Batwoman took the starring role in it.
The skinny is Hush (who had plastic surgery to make himself look like Bruce) has decided to donate all of the Wayne fortune to Gotham City to help repair the destruction caused by the Arkham break. Seriously, is there ANY security whatsoever in that place? Anyway, needless to say Dick and Damien aren't too thrilled about this, and have figure out a way to get to Hush without it looking like Batman and Robin are attacking Bruce Wayne. Got that? Good. Oh, and there's also this little back-up featuring a character that some of you may have heard of, Manhunter? Yeah that's really, really good too. Solicitation text reads:
"Bruce Wayne is dead...long live Bruce Wayne! Gotham's favorite son has miraculously returned, promising to lead his city into a new golden age. But while Wayne devotes his limitless fortune to rebuilding Gotham City, he fights violent opposition from Batman, Robin and a host of DC Universe heroes!
And in the Manhunter co-feature, now that Manhunter has found the previous DA's killer – or, rather, the killer has found her – what is she going to do about it? Bringing the killer in for a trial may not result in the justice Kate's been dreaming of. But is she ready to kill for justice so soon after a fresh start in Gotham?"
Honorable mentions go to the aforementioned Blackest Night Superman #1 because well, ZOMBIE PA KENT, what else ya need? And yep, you guessed it, Wednesday Comics #7 for reasons that I'll spare you a seventh consecutive repeating of.
Comic of the Week
Out of all the Batman Reborn, Gotham City Streets is probably my second favorite behind Batman and Robin. Basically this book is Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen continuing their excellent run from Detective Comics before Batwoman took the starring role in it.The skinny is Hush (who had plastic surgery to make himself look like Bruce) has decided to donate all of the Wayne fortune to Gotham City to help repair the destruction caused by the Arkham break. Seriously, is there ANY security whatsoever in that place? Anyway, needless to say Dick and Damien aren't too thrilled about this, and have figure out a way to get to Hush without it looking like Batman and Robin are attacking Bruce Wayne. Got that? Good. Oh, and there's also this little back-up featuring a character that some of you may have heard of, Manhunter? Yeah that's really, really good too. Solicitation text reads:
"Bruce Wayne is dead...long live Bruce Wayne! Gotham's favorite son has miraculously returned, promising to lead his city into a new golden age. But while Wayne devotes his limitless fortune to rebuilding Gotham City, he fights violent opposition from Batman, Robin and a host of DC Universe heroes!
And in the Manhunter co-feature, now that Manhunter has found the previous DA's killer – or, rather, the killer has found her – what is she going to do about it? Bringing the killer in for a trial may not result in the justice Kate's been dreaming of. But is she ready to kill for justice so soon after a fresh start in Gotham?"
Honorable mentions go to the aforementioned Blackest Night Superman #1 because well, ZOMBIE PA KENT, what else ya need? And yep, you guessed it, Wednesday Comics #7 for reasons that I'll spare you a seventh consecutive repeating of.
The Pull List
- Amazing Spider-man #603
- Batgirl #1
- Batman Streets of Gotham #3
- Blackest Night Superman #1
- Justice League of America #36
- Outsiders #21
- Red Robin #2 2nd printing
- Superman/Batman #63
- Wednesday Comics #7
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Mister Bones' Top 5
Today I continue to express my hatred for Stephen Sommers' mockery of a GI Joe movie in a Top 5 post similar to my Revenge of the Fallen Top 5, only this time there aren't five things that I actually liked. FYI there will be some spoilers here, but this movie basically spoiled my life for a couple of hours, so I don't feel sorry for any of you who read something here that you didn't want to know before attempting to watch this bullshit for yourselves.
5. Exo-Suits - The great thing about GI Joe is the diversity of the roster. You've basically got a group of these elite soldiers representing every imaginable specialty from each branch of the military. Yes, in an effort to milk more money from our parents, after a while most of the toys just became silly, but for who they used in the movie, having them wear something that was at the very least recognizable would've been nice. Instead we get exo-suits, which were not only poorly animated, but looked fucking stupid. Look at this, even the toy doesn't look happy to be wearing it:
4. Cobra - So I realize this was supposed to be the "origin" of Cobra, but come on. Where were the dudes in blue helmets and ninja masks? What the fuck were those "vipers" that they injected with snake venom? Destro sucked, Cobra Commander REALLY sucked, and you will hear more about Stormshadow later down the list. The only one who was even remotely close in both appearance and character was Baroness, and well it was Baroness. I can't believe we were expected to actually take this collective group of stupidity seriously as any kind of a threat to national security whatsoever.
3. Duke, and The mannequin that was supposed to be Duke - Jesus where did they find this fucking guy? This dude takes bad acting to an entirely new level. Seriously I've seen machinery show more emotion. The fucking boom mic is a better actor than this guy.
For a guy who is supposed to be the field leader of an elite military anti-terrorism force, Duke is quite the fuck-up. How many flashback sequences did he have to missions that he fucked up? I think I lost count somewhere around 12. He did countless stupid things in this movie. Then there was the ridiculous shared history between he and the guy who ended up being what passed for Cobra Commander. My God how do you ruin a character who has been well-established for the past 30 years or so this badly?
2. Stormshadow, the trench coat wearing pussy - Show of hands, how many of you have ever seen a ninja wearing a trench coat? Me neither. Most of the movie, he walked around in an all white 3-piece suit looking like some kind of Asian cologne ad model, and when he did don his signature white ninja costume, he looked like a fucking Empirial Snowtrooper from the Hoth battle.
Seriously, does this:
look even remotly close to anything that resembles this in any way:
1. Snake-lips - Remember how exciting it was that Ray Park was cast to play Snake-Eyes? How perfect that seemed, and how you had hope that this clusterfuck might actually turn out to be decent? Yeah, I did the same. Well friends that all went out the window the first time Snake stepped into the light and was sporting FUCKING LIPS ON HIS MASK. Oh my Jesus how fucking retarded is that? If he had spoken even so much as a mumble, I was organizing a lynching. Fuck Snake-Lips, and fuck this stupid ass movie.
And I could go on and on. I didn't even touch on Marlon Wayans, or the nationality and racial change for Heavy Duty. Hell my brother pointed out something that I initally missed, Brendan Fraser actually make a cameo in this movie, and when I went to IMDB for verification, he's listed an un-credited. This makes me think that Brendan initally signed on because he thought it would be fun to be a part of this, then after seeing the end result asked that he be removed from ever being recognized for any contribution to it.
Stephen Sommers has officially passed Joel Schumaker in my eyes as the world's second-worst filmmaker. It's going to take a herculean effort to oust Uwe Boll from the top spot, but I've got faith in ya Stevie! Why not go after a Bat-flick next? That's sure to do the trick.
Top 5 Reasons Why I Hated the GI Joe Movie
5. Exo-Suits - The great thing about GI Joe is the diversity of the roster. You've basically got a group of these elite soldiers representing every imaginable specialty from each branch of the military. Yes, in an effort to milk more money from our parents, after a while most of the toys just became silly, but for who they used in the movie, having them wear something that was at the very least recognizable would've been nice. Instead we get exo-suits, which were not only poorly animated, but looked fucking stupid. Look at this, even the toy doesn't look happy to be wearing it:
4. Cobra - So I realize this was supposed to be the "origin" of Cobra, but come on. Where were the dudes in blue helmets and ninja masks? What the fuck were those "vipers" that they injected with snake venom? Destro sucked, Cobra Commander REALLY sucked, and you will hear more about Stormshadow later down the list. The only one who was even remotely close in both appearance and character was Baroness, and well it was Baroness. I can't believe we were expected to actually take this collective group of stupidity seriously as any kind of a threat to national security whatsoever.
3. Duke, and The mannequin that was supposed to be Duke - Jesus where did they find this fucking guy? This dude takes bad acting to an entirely new level. Seriously I've seen machinery show more emotion. The fucking boom mic is a better actor than this guy.
For a guy who is supposed to be the field leader of an elite military anti-terrorism force, Duke is quite the fuck-up. How many flashback sequences did he have to missions that he fucked up? I think I lost count somewhere around 12. He did countless stupid things in this movie. Then there was the ridiculous shared history between he and the guy who ended up being what passed for Cobra Commander. My God how do you ruin a character who has been well-established for the past 30 years or so this badly?
2. Stormshadow, the trench coat wearing pussy - Show of hands, how many of you have ever seen a ninja wearing a trench coat? Me neither. Most of the movie, he walked around in an all white 3-piece suit looking like some kind of Asian cologne ad model, and when he did don his signature white ninja costume, he looked like a fucking Empirial Snowtrooper from the Hoth battle.
Seriously, does this:
look even remotly close to anything that resembles this in any way:
FUCK NO.
1. Snake-lips - Remember how exciting it was that Ray Park was cast to play Snake-Eyes? How perfect that seemed, and how you had hope that this clusterfuck might actually turn out to be decent? Yeah, I did the same. Well friends that all went out the window the first time Snake stepped into the light and was sporting FUCKING LIPS ON HIS MASK. Oh my Jesus how fucking retarded is that? If he had spoken even so much as a mumble, I was organizing a lynching. Fuck Snake-Lips, and fuck this stupid ass movie.
And I could go on and on. I didn't even touch on Marlon Wayans, or the nationality and racial change for Heavy Duty. Hell my brother pointed out something that I initally missed, Brendan Fraser actually make a cameo in this movie, and when I went to IMDB for verification, he's listed an un-credited. This makes me think that Brendan initally signed on because he thought it would be fun to be a part of this, then after seeing the end result asked that he be removed from ever being recognized for any contribution to it.
Stephen Sommers has officially passed Joel Schumaker in my eyes as the world's second-worst filmmaker. It's going to take a herculean effort to oust Uwe Boll from the top spot, but I've got faith in ya Stevie! Why not go after a Bat-flick next? That's sure to do the trick.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Mister Bones' Infinite Playlist - Faget
Oh how I yearn for the carefree days of the late 90's. Stuck at work alone today, I decided to throw in Korn's first cd and give it a listen. Being that this was probably my favorite album of all time back then, it brought back lots of memories for me. Good times...
Anyway this was my favorite song on the album, the track is called "Faget" by Korn from the album Korn. Did I mention Korn? Ok good. This track also comes with a Mister Bones Parental Advisory sticker for explicit lyrics. Give it a listen and then you can tell your grandkids that you liked Korn before they sucked. Just imagine how impressed they will be. Enjoy!
Faget - KoRn
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I don't remember....
...the last time I saw video game box art this nice. Makes me want to play the game, even though I know next to nothing about it. Guess that's supposed to be the point though, eh? Kudos marketing department, job well done!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Comic of the Week 8/12
Another Wednesday, another week of good comics, and there be Blackest Night abound! Blackest Night #2, Blackes Night Batman #1, and Green Lantern Corps #39 all ship. I'm sticking with Deadpool after enjoying his showdown with Bullseye, though this issue will likely make or break it for me. A double dose of Batman reborn as Red Robin #3 ships as well as Batman #689 featuring the "meh"-tastic art of Mark Bagley! Fine comics, to be sure, but only one can be the comic of the week, and this week that comic features my favorite character not named "Batman".
Wahey! Looky what's finally back! A new issue of Hellboy: Wild Hunt is finally here. Yeah i know after #'s 1-4 barely managed to ship on time, Dark Horse proclaimed that a break in between 4 and 5 was planned all along. Mmm hmm, sure. Whatever. At least it's back now, and we can finally get the second half of the story (which is a good one, btw). It's so good in fact that I'm proclaiming it my pick of the week. There's not really much I can tell you about what's been going on that the solicit doesn't, so here ya go:
"Hellboy and Alice have prevailed against a vicious ambush, but they haven't come out unscathed. After she is struck by a poisonous arrow, Alice’s life hangs by a thread, and Hellboy’s only hope of saving her rests inside a castle under assault by a horde of demons. To get to the castle, and the mysterious sorceress inside, Hellboy has to punch through her castle's fiercest assailant—a demonic commander of the legions of Hell who guards the entrance to her stronghold!"
Honorable mentions this week go to Blackest Night #2 because I can't wait to see how Johns tops the slaughter of the Hawks at the end of #1, Walking Dead #64 because I want to see if Dale is going to be eaten by the cannibal hunters, and of course, Wednesday Comics #6. For shame if you didn't read my WC write-up!
Comic of the Week
Wahey! Looky what's finally back! A new issue of Hellboy: Wild Hunt is finally here. Yeah i know after #'s 1-4 barely managed to ship on time, Dark Horse proclaimed that a break in between 4 and 5 was planned all along. Mmm hmm, sure. Whatever. At least it's back now, and we can finally get the second half of the story (which is a good one, btw). It's so good in fact that I'm proclaiming it my pick of the week. There's not really much I can tell you about what's been going on that the solicit doesn't, so here ya go:"Hellboy and Alice have prevailed against a vicious ambush, but they haven't come out unscathed. After she is struck by a poisonous arrow, Alice’s life hangs by a thread, and Hellboy’s only hope of saving her rests inside a castle under assault by a horde of demons. To get to the castle, and the mysterious sorceress inside, Hellboy has to punch through her castle's fiercest assailant—a demonic commander of the legions of Hell who guards the entrance to her stronghold!"
Honorable mentions this week go to Blackest Night #2 because I can't wait to see how Johns tops the slaughter of the Hawks at the end of #1, Walking Dead #64 because I want to see if Dale is going to be eaten by the cannibal hunters, and of course, Wednesday Comics #6. For shame if you didn't read my WC write-up!
The Pull List
- Amazing Spider-man #602
- Batman #689
- Blackest Night #2
- Blackest Night Batman #1
- BPRD 1947 #2
- Deadpool #13
- Gotham City Sirens #1 2nd printing
- Green Lantern Corps #39
- Hellboy: Wild Hunt #5
- Red Robin #3
- Walking Dead #64
- Wednesday Comics #6
Monday, August 10, 2009
My Trip to the Wax Museum
Or "Why Bonesy should never be allowed out in public". Took mini-me to Tennessee over the weekend for one last hurrah before he started the Big K today. That's "kindergarten" by the way, not the soda. Whilst there, we decided to visit a wax museum, and well, I think the results in these photos speak for themselves.
Much to my surprise, Hef declined my offer to pose for a spread. I was even gonna wear the ears and everything! His loss...
Nope, I ain't above pick pocketing a blind dude.
I ran into Nic Cage in his Ghost Rider attire, and decided to let him know exactly what I thought about there ever being a potential sequel to that atrocity. Oh and I checked, and yep, those 6 pack abs were totally computer generated. Told ya!
As you can tell here from my iconic, statuesque physique, the training, prayers, and vitamins really do pay off.
Here are some small children posing with Charlie's Angels...wait, who is that guy and what is he doing to Lucy Liu?!
From the look on her face, I could tell that Angelina was enjoying this, though clearly not as much as I was.
After being told many times over that I never use it, I decided to just go ahead and give my brain to Leatherface instead of making him go through all the trouble of chasing me through the woods and chainsawing my head off to get to it. He thanked me, and then chainsawed me anyway.
Upon running into my boy Freddy at the museum, I immediately threw my hand up for a high five, and regretted it shortly thereafter.
Had a little bit of a bone to pick with my homie Jason after he needlessly killed the chick with the nicest boobs on Earth, he's still my boy and all, but I had to say something....
...needless to say, this went pretty much as expected.
While I was incapacitated, the Riddler sprang into action and attempted to choke out the kid!
I of course went immediately to Batman for help, and after a surprising amount of coercion, he eventually sprang into action.
I took this opportunity to spring into a little action of my own with Catwoman. Side note, notice how bored, and unimpressed she looks. Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with this look, as it's shared by almost all of the real women who have also found themselves in similar situations throughout my life....
All's well that ends well though, and surprisingly I would make it out of the wax museum sans handcuffs or police escort, but not before a bedtime story from your friend and mine, the Crypt Keeper.
The moral of this story, don't ever go anywhere with me, and for God's sake if you're going to open a wax museum of your own, be sure and enclose the exhibits in glass cases, or at the very least rope them off!
Much to my surprise, Hef declined my offer to pose for a spread. I was even gonna wear the ears and everything! His loss...
Nope, I ain't above pick pocketing a blind dude.
I ran into Nic Cage in his Ghost Rider attire, and decided to let him know exactly what I thought about there ever being a potential sequel to that atrocity. Oh and I checked, and yep, those 6 pack abs were totally computer generated. Told ya!
As you can tell here from my iconic, statuesque physique, the training, prayers, and vitamins really do pay off.
Here are some small children posing with Charlie's Angels...wait, who is that guy and what is he doing to Lucy Liu?!
From the look on her face, I could tell that Angelina was enjoying this, though clearly not as much as I was.
After being told many times over that I never use it, I decided to just go ahead and give my brain to Leatherface instead of making him go through all the trouble of chasing me through the woods and chainsawing my head off to get to it. He thanked me, and then chainsawed me anyway.
Upon running into my boy Freddy at the museum, I immediately threw my hand up for a high five, and regretted it shortly thereafter.
Had a little bit of a bone to pick with my homie Jason after he needlessly killed the chick with the nicest boobs on Earth, he's still my boy and all, but I had to say something....
...needless to say, this went pretty much as expected.
While I was incapacitated, the Riddler sprang into action and attempted to choke out the kid!
I of course went immediately to Batman for help, and after a surprising amount of coercion, he eventually sprang into action.
I took this opportunity to spring into a little action of my own with Catwoman. Side note, notice how bored, and unimpressed she looks. Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with this look, as it's shared by almost all of the real women who have also found themselves in similar situations throughout my life....
All's well that ends well though, and surprisingly I would make it out of the wax museum sans handcuffs or police escort, but not before a bedtime story from your friend and mine, the Crypt Keeper.
The moral of this story, don't ever go anywhere with me, and for God's sake if you're going to open a wax museum of your own, be sure and enclose the exhibits in glass cases, or at the very least rope them off!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)