Mister Bones' Top 5 Special Revenge of the Fallen Edition

That's right kids, I saw Revenge of the Fallen this week and like pretty much every single person in the world, there were things I really liked, and things I REALLY didn't like. It's been a while since I've done a Top 5, so instead of just doing a random post about the movie, I thought I'd incorporate a list of both the top 5 things I liked about it, and the top 5 things I didn't. I'm going to try and do this with minimal spoilers, but of course there will be some, so if you haven't seen it, stop reading already! First up, the likes.

Top 5 Things I liked about Revenge of the Fallen

5. Shia Labeouf - What can I say? I like the guy. I don't want to, I want to hate him like the rest of the jaded, pop culture society hating bloggers do, but the fact is that while I haven't seen every movie he's ever been in, I've never seen one with him in it that I didn't like. He turns in another great performance in Fallen, maybe a bit more over the top than he was in the original Transformers, but still he got a laugh or two from me, particularly the scene outside the frat house, which I thought was great.

4. The fight sequences - Nothing like some hot and heavy robot on robot action! Lots of metal ass kicking going on in this one. Plenty of arm ripping, leg ripping, stabbing, shooting, etc. Pretty much everything the first was lacking. The action seemed easier to follow this time around too, though that may have had a bit to do with Bay's decision to include as many slow-mo sequences as possible. At one point it almost felt like watching a John Woo flick with giant robots, but I never spotted any robotic pigeons.

3. Jetfire - Despite hoping that he would be a bit more of a badass, I couldn't help but like Jetfire. Being that he was one of the original Transformers on Earth, he's portrayed as a cranky old geezer Autobot, which reminded me more of Kup than the Jetfire I remember from the show. Still, he had a very cool look, and when it came down to it, he still remembered how to kick an ass or two.

2. More Decepticons - I'm a Decepticon man, always have been. My main complaint with the first Transformers was that the Decepticons got almost no screen time other than the very beginning of the movie and the battle at the end. Fallen more than makes up for it though, with plenty of new Decepticons and ample screen time for them.

1. Optimus Prime - Optimus absolutely owned this movie. There were several scenes where he took on two or more Decepticons by himself and continued to stomp ass. After being somewhat disappointed with the fight against Megatron in the first, Optimus finally gets to shine as the badass he is in the sequel. The fight against Megatron and the Fallen at the end was absolutely jaw dropping, and seeing "Super Battle Mode" Optimus was worth the price of admission by itself.

And here's what I didn't like...

Top 5 Things I didn't like about Revenge of the Fallen

5. Adult content - Ok so I'm nowhere near a prude when it comes to coarse language or anything like that normally, but this movie had an un=necessary amount of profanity for being what it is. There was also a panty shot or two, robotic testicles, and dogs humping and even a small Transformer humping, which admittedly made me chuckle. But I was planning on taking my 5 year old to see this movie next week, and now I'm second guessing whether I should or not. I think Bay just invented the "hard PG-13".

4. The X3 Syndrome - I know I praised the addtion of more Decepticons above, and there were lots of new Autubots as well, but they were given almost no screen time, save for some background appearances. Hardly any dialogue was given to the new 'Bots, and they seemed to be included with the sole purpose of selling more toys in mind. I love me some Sideswipe, and I even dig his look in Fallen, but he did. not. do. shit. And Jolt or Bolt or whatever the hell his name is, whom even the other Autobots ignored until one brief scene at the very end, was a waste of the animators' time. The two new characters that did get plenty of screen time (Skids and Mudflap) annoyed the hell out of me, why the hell didn't Ratchet and Ironhide get all that time in the spotlight? Overall I just got a real "Beast and Angel from X3" vibe from this movie. Lots of new characters and no real use for them.

3. The Fallen - I know who the Fallen is from the comics, though I don't actually read TF comics. I'm fairly certain he should've been a bit tougher than he ended up being. I sat and watched this "original Decepticon" get his ass completely owned at the end, without even putting up much of a fight at all, and I'm supposed to believe that this is the guy that Megatron calls "master"? Yeah I'm not buying it.

2. Devastator - This was in no way, shape, or form Devastator, and was in every way my biggest disappointment with the movie. The less said about it, the better.

1. Megan Fox - I'm going to Don my flame retardant Bat-suit for this one, because folks I just really don't get what is so hot about this chick. Yeah, she's pretty, I get that. But did every single scene she was in have to look like she was posing for an FHM spread? Have any of you EVER seen anybody else airbrush the gas tank on a motorcycle from that position? Me neither. And again with the slow motion, only this time it wasn't for robotic carnage, it was for Megan Fox running in a tank top. I'm checking hourly for these scenes with the Baywatch theme song playing over them to hit Youtube. Everything about her in this movie just came off as extremely juvenile to me, and it annoyed me to no end.


And there's my lists. In the end, Revenge of the Fallen did what most sequels do, it took what was established in the first, added a fresh coat of paint and introduced some new stuff, but ultimately failed to live up to it's predecessor. It did however manage to accomplish for me exactly what I wanted it to do, it entertained me for a couple of hours. So for me, the movie was a success, and I'm glad I went out to see it.