The Taint

Oh boy, this movie is sick. In fact it's so bad that I almost didn't post any screen grabs to go along with this post because there really wasn't much that I would feel comfortable being on display at my blog. There is a ton of nudity, both male and female, not to mention the gallons upon gallons of various bodily fluids being sprayed about, and a look at intercourse from the inside. The Taint is disgusting, offensive, at times juvenile and mindless, but ultimately you can't help but laugh at it, and in a good way.

The title, The Taint, is a bit of a mislead. It's a reference to tainted water. Two scientists working on a drug for male enhancement accidentally create a drug that turns men into raging sex crazed misogynists who want nothing more than to degrade, murder, and do all sorts of disturbingly brutal things to women. After being infected themselves, they turn the poison loose into the town's water supply, and it's up to high school burnout Phil O'Ginny and his badass female companion Misandra to put an end to the taint.

One thing that really stands out here is that the creators were obviously working with an almost non-existant budget, but the effects are plentiful and actually pretty good. I've seen much worse from movies that were working with a lot more money. On the acting side of things, most of the performances are painfully bad, only in a way that makes you laugh more than cringe. The dialogue is like listening to 12 year olds try to talk like adults. There are a couple of times when the movie drifts and despite having my complete attention, I couldn't figure out how we got to where we were. I'm not sure if that was a problem with the script or some bad editing, but it definitely slows things down. Ultimately though it isn't long before someone crushes a skull with a rock and things right themselves. There's also a quick animated sequence in the middle involving father/son lab bunnies that I wanted to mention, as it's probably the most well-done part of the movie. It was completely unexpected and only lasted about a minute, but I thought it was great.

This movie is absolutely not going to be for everyone. In fact, it's going to be for hardly anyone. It definitely isn't for people who have weak stomachs, and if you're easily offended don't even bother with this one. Those of you who fancy yourselves splatter hounds will find a lot to love. The Taint is like going to a Gwar concert, only the music isn't as good and the plot is different. To put it a different way, imagine you gave South Park creators Matt Parker and Trey Stone a couple thousand dollars and a camera when they were 13 years old and asked them to make you a movie. What you would end up with would probably look a whole lot like The Taint. Personally, I liked it, because this is the kind of thing I can laugh at and not take seriously in the slightest. It's hard to really recommend this movie to most people, but if your sense of humor runs a little on the twisted side and you're ok with what you've read here, then by all means check out The Taint.