Sunday, March 22, 2009

Mister Bones' Top 5

Ok I know I said that I would probably do a "Top 5 Worst Games that Everybody Else Loved" list next, and that's still coming, but I was reading about Dead Rising 2 in the new Game Informer and they listed a few things that they would like to see in the sequel. I would imagine that I've spent more time playing Dead Rising than anyone who writes for that magazine, and to be honest I found their list to be a bit boring, so I thought "Hey, I could come up with 5 things better than that", and here we are.

Top 5 Things I Want to See in Dead Rising 2

5. Upgradeable vehicles and weapons - If I find a school bus parked outside somewhere, why can't I get my blowtorch on and throw some scrap metal over the windows, some barbed wire around the doors, add some spikes to the front for ramming purposes, etc. Similarly, if I decide I want to fashion some sort of weapon from a baseball bat, some nails, and a tether ball that should be up to me. Let me get all MacGuyver up in that bitch.

4. More places to go - The mall will always be a staple of zombie fiction, so the fact that Dead Rising took place all in one location was forgivable. Having the sequel set in a casino? Fuck that. Give me a city to run around in! Sure there would be buildings that you could enter for saving purposes, or to loot for supplies, weapons, or ammo but have it to where if you stay in one any one place for too long the zombies would figure out where you were and trap you there, thus spelling your certain doom. Think Grand Theft Auto IV, only with 100% less living hookers, and 100% more zombie hookers.

3. Less psychos, more zombie variety - The psychos were cool in Dead Rising I guess, and to be fair there was a decent amount of variety amongst the living dead appearance-wise, but why not throw in a couple of boss fights with some more intelligent forms of zombies? Did you see Dawn of the Dead, or especially Land of the Dead? Romero had zombies that could both remember, and to a certain extent learn. Land even had zombies using machine guns, and if Romero says a zombie can do it, then a zombie can do it.

2. Co-op - Ah, Dead Rising's most unforgivable sin. You mean to tell me that I get to play this game where I'm stuck inside a mall that's both infested and surrounded by zombies, I can use pretty much anything I want as a weapon, and this is a single player only game? Dude. Dead Rising practically screams for co-op. It's certainly not like it couldn't be done, Crackdown anyone? Co-op is becoming more and more of a necessity for games with multiplayer, so I'm really hoping for some confirmation on this for DR2. Two players would be good, four to eight would be orgasmic.

1. Frank motherfucking West - He's covered wars, yanno? Forget this blond haired, Big Bird yellow Columbia winter coat wearing, dirt bike riding bitch in the screen shots. I want grizzled ex-war photo journalist Frank West to bust some zombie skulls with. Anybody who played the first game knows, Frank is the man. Plain and simple. All others will pale in comparison.

And there ya go, the 5 things that if included would make Dead Rising 2 the single greatest thing that ever happened to gaming. Admittedly simply adding the co-op would go a long ways toward this goal all by itself, so everything else would just be icing on the cake.

I know some of you may have been expecting me to mention something about a better save system, but I'm one of those people who was never really bothered by the system in place in Dead Rising. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's not Frank's fault that you forgot to stop by one of the numerous bathrooms or safe rooms to get your save on ya slackers!

Next time I'll do the worst games list, I promise.

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