Thursday, March 12, 2009
So there I was, innocently browsing the roms on my NESter DC disc looking for something to kill a few minutes with when I came across this game, Zombie Nation. "What's this? A zombie game on the NES?!", I thought. I wasted little time in booting it up. There are no words in the English dictionary that can accurately describe the horror that would follow.
I had planned on attempting to explain what little time I spent with this game originally, however thanks to Youtube, you can experience the wonder for yourselves. Warning though, once you watch this, you will never be able to un-watch it.
As you can clearly see, there are no zombies. There's only a fat flying Buddha head that spits some sort of weird fireballs at helicopters, tanks, and buildings. Trust me when I tell you that the video above runs approximately 2:45 seconds longer than I actually spent playing this piece of shit.
However, all that being said, while telling Threels at work today about this game, she decided to do some research on it, and came up with the following backstory from I Heart Chaos:
Some really evil guy named Darc Seed turns everyone into the US into zombies using some sort of magnetic ray somehow and he steals an ancient samurai sword, which really pisses off this dead samurai, who takes his disembodied head to America to get his damn sword back. Only you never see or kill a single zombie. You just destroy random aliens and bad guys and the Statue of Liberty and the Grand Canyon. Yes, really. So there's no zombies, but there is a nation, so they could have called the game Giant Orange Floating Undead Samurai Head Nation, but that's not as catchy as just throwing the word "zombie" in the title and being done with it.
And just like that, the game officially became awesome. I guess sometimes you just gotta have somebody break it down for you before you can really see the entertainment value right in front of you. Go figure.