Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

I will never forget my reaction upon first reading about The Human Centipede..."the fuck?" I thought. It sounded ridiculous, and I basically dismissed it almost immediately. Of course then the rest of the world got wind of it, and suddenly horror sites everywhere began to sing it's praises at almost the exact same time that the "normal" people of the world turned their noses up in disgust, most of whom did so without ever actually seeing the film. Despite my initial disinterest in the movie, I decided at some point that I should probably watch it, just to say I'd seen it, and to form my own opinion on the subject. Turns out it was a fairly well made flick, with a creepy doctor guy who was played pretty well by Dieter Laser (who's name is fucking awesome), but outside of that I found the whole thing to be as ridiculous as I thought it would. It certainly wasn't disturbing, scary, or deserving of all the banning and such.

With that amount of attention, as with any other movie these days, it was only a matter of time before talk of a Human Centipede II began, and it has arrived in a big way. A while back there was a letter posted online from the British Board of Film Classification detailing several disgusting details that lead to the film being banned outright, and thus the hype machine was up and running full steam. I have to admit that while I didn't fully drink the kool-aid this time around, I did want to see HCII and hoped that it would win me over where it's predecessor never did. I've seen it now, and sadly I guess I still just don't get it.

Martin, a mentally challenged man who lives at home with his mother and works the night shift as a security guard in a parking garage, is obsessed with the first Human Centipede film, particularly the work of Doctor Heiter, the surgeon who created the titular Centipede. Martin idolizes the doctor, and when the abusive conditions of his bleak existence push him too far, he sinks even further into his own little world where Doctor Heiter is a hero. He takes his infatuation with the film to the next level, and begins plans to build his own 12 person human centipede. As you can imagine, being that Martin is a guy living in the real world where things like a human centipede are ridiculous, things don't exactly go well.

Tom Six, I see what you did there. Here's what I envision your thought process must  have been when you first sat down to create a Human Centipede sequel: "You fuckers want to ban my flick and call me a sick bastard before eve watching it? Well check THIS shit out!" Human Centipede II is every bit as you sick and disgusting as you heard the first one was. There's so much gore and various bodily fluid slinging about in certain scenes that the entire movie is done in black and white. It got so bad at one point that I went from laughing at how ridiculous things had gotten to turning away from the screen because it was just too much for me. I won't go into detail as to what I turned from, but it wasn't centipede related, that's all I'm gonna say.

While I applaud Mr. Six for his big ole "FUCK YOU" to the critics and haters of the original film, unfortunately that doesn't mean I enjoyed this movie any better than The Human Centipede. I guess I just don't see the appeal. I mean, yeah I like to take little Lego guys and connect them head to ass just as much as the next guy, but only because it makes me laugh. It certainly doesn't disturb me, and the thought of them all using the same digestive system just seems pointless and stupid, and serves solely as the basis for bathroom humor, which I outgrew somewhere around twelve. Is it gross? Sure, but that doesn't make it disturbing, it just makes it gross.

It seems pointless to make a recommendation about The Human Centipede II one way or the other. You've likely already made your mind up as to whether you're watching it or not. I do think that if you liked the first one, you'll probably love this one. It takes the original idea and cranks the "fucked up" dial up to 11. For the rest of us who didn't really dig the first one, Human Centipede II probably won't be any different. It wasn't for me anyway. Bummer, as I really want to like Tom Six. I'm hoping two films will get the centipede stuff out of his system and he'll move on to something else that I'll end up liking.