Yep, the franchise that does absolutely nothing for me, yet I keep watching is in theaters yet again, and just like last time, I actually watched it knowing full well that I wasn't going to like it. The thing about these movies, other than the fact that they're all incredibly boring, is that I don't like a single one of these characters. The girls, their husbands, boyfriends, children, dogs, whatevers, don't give a rat's ass about them one way or the other. So when their doors start slamming and kitchenware begins to fall down, I don't care at all. Then there's the fact that whatever this paranormal entity is that's been tormenting these women their entire lives is supposedly a demon, yet all it can seem to do is open doors, or in the case of the second movie, clean the pool. It's a fucking DEMON.
Paranormal Activity three serves as a prequel as we're given a look at the sister's when they were younger and this activity first began. No real reason to go into a long, detailed plot synopsis here, that's all there is to it. Paranormal Craptivity in all it's glory for the third time. I will say that some kinda freaky shit does go down at the end of this one, as the invisible attic chicken who likes to clean pools and open doors takes a bit of a back seat to some seriously creepy other stuff that's going on. There's also a bit of pretty brutal violence that isn't just implied, which is a first for Paranormal Activity. Worry not though, chicken fans, there's still a fair amount of absolutely harmless and seemingly pointless furniture moving too. It's pretty difficult to talk about what worked and what didn't in this one for me without giving everything away, and being that between these three films, there's somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 minutes of actual entertainment to be found, to ruin the 4 entertaining minutes of PA3 feels wrong. I also can't really comment on the apparent lack of absolutely anything that happened in the trailer turning up in the final movie. It's apparently made quite a few people angry, however can't honestly say that I ever remember actually watching a trailer for it, so I'm not sure what's missing or if it may have made it a better, or completely different movie, which is what I've read a lot of since the movie released. I suppose I could do so now being that I've seen the movie, but I'm really not that interested.
So as to not come off as a complete ass here, I will give Paranormal Activity 3 a bit of credit by saying that if it had been the first movie in this series, I probably would've liked it a whole lot more. Of course then if you followed it up with the other two movies, I'd end up severely disappointed, and likely still not be a fan of the series. I'm way more down with the paranormal activity in part 3 than I am with the attic chicken. That being said, and if I may borrow a line from Mitch at the end of Waiting, being the best Paranormal Craptivity movie is like being the smartest kid with Downs Syndrome. I can only imagine if you liked the first two movies, this one you'll love as it really is superior. For the rest of us who have been underwhelmed thus far, PA3 is a step in the right direction, but there's still a long way to go. I don't know how many more of these I'm going to be willing to sit through, but if they ever end up winning me over, I'll be surprised.