Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Crisis Averted, You're Welcome.

You're welcome Paris and Times Square. Since the day I first deployed in Tehran to look into a possible IED in PLR posession, I have literally given my life (dozens of times) to ensure that it would never be deployed. I've lost friends, I've lost my patience, I've lost my temper, and I came very close to losing another controller. Damn snipers in the mall... But I pushed through, knowing that it was primarily up to me to ensure that the people of this great world could continue to sleep comfortably underneath the blanket of freedom that I have provided since I was old enough to hold a controller and pull the trigger.

Today all that hard work and perseverance finally paid off, both in the form of the thwarting of a nefarious terrorist plot to detonate tactical nukes in two of the world's largest cities, thus saving millions of lives, and more importantly, a 50 point achievement. To say that I'm proud of my achievement would be an understatement. My mission required me to do things that I'm a) not particularly fond of and b) not particularly good at to begin with, even on the easy difficulty setting. Accomplishing these tasks on hard was something that I barely survived in the first place, and never plan to attempt again. That time when me and Campo had Al Bashir in custody inside the mall, and the PLR were flooding in from all three floors and all I had was a sniper rifle? Dude. When that platoon got ambushed while trying to take out the mine field impeding the progress of our convoy and I had to advance on foot alone against a small PLR army to detonate the charges? I had to man the fuck up. And let's not even get into my having to shoot my CO and look like a traitor to keep Solomon from making good on his attempt to nuke Times Square. The CIA was ALL up in my shit.

In the end, it was all worth it though. I saved the world, again, and in the process gained a little gamerscore. I'm sure it won't be long before my next assignment comes across my console, it's looking like I may have to wear some sort of weird Nanosuit and defend against an alien invasion or something. I can't really get into particulars here just yet, as all I have is hearsay and speculation based on what I've read from the back of the case. Today though, today I'm just going to relax and maybe watch a little hockey, taking solace in the fact that all of you fine people were allowed to continue on with your meager existences thanks in large part to ME. You're welcome.


J. Astro said...

Thank God for you, Bonesy. Merry Christmas.

Mister Bones said...

Merry Xmas to you to my man!