Monday, December 13, 2010

Mister Bones' Top 5

Well kiddies, Xmas is right around the corner, and you can believe me when I tell you that I've been especially good this year. In fact I've been SO good, that I fully expect to wake up Xmas morning and find a multitude of colorfully wrapped gifts with my name all over them. To help with any of you last minute shoppers, and to keep any of you from buying me the same gift, I've comprised a list of the Top 5 things on my Xmas list. Tis the season for giving, and as such I'm GIVING you ideas as to what to buy me! Who says I'm not in the holiday spirit?!

Top 5 Things on Mister Bones' Xmas List

5. Episode V 30th Anniversary Edition Stormtrooper Precision Cast Replica Helmet - Help me pay my respects to Irvin Kershner, beloved director of the finest of the Star Wars film installments, who sadly passed away last month, for a meager $199 credits.

4. Sideshow Jason Voorhees Terror of Crystal Lake Statue - There are holes, both in my collection and my heart where this statue belongs. It's so beautiful it almost brings a tear to my eye. Make my holidays extra special for the low, low price of $229.

3. Bose Cinemate GS Series II Digital Home Theater Speaker System - Just imagine how much more interesting my movie review posts would be if I had these speakers to listen to my movies on. Plus, I'm getting old yanno? The hearing isn't what it used to be. This Xmas, save my children the torment of having to repeat to daddy everything the guy on television just said for a piddly $799.

2. Life Size Batman Statue - This one works two-fold as it not only would look great in the Batcave, but also would act as a deterrent to any potential burglars. For a mere $5,220 you can not only single-handedly save Xmas, but also make my home safer for me and my children. And if you act now, you'll even get FREE SHIPPING!

1. 2010 Range Rover Sport GT Limited Edition - This one is more of a need than a want. I'm currently in a Ranger, which is as close to "Ranger Rover" as I could get, but as a single parent with two small children, while a fine truck, the Ranger presents space issues as it's difficult to fit all of us in comfortably. With the Range Rover, me and the kids would not only have sufficient leg room, but also plenty of space to put the groceries until we get home. I went with the Sport GT Limited Edition for the kids, as I wouldn't want them to suffer the embarrassment of having ride around with their father in a plain old Rover, and also having the LE will aid me while cruising for chicks, but mostly because of the kids thing. At a base price of only $69,495 please feel free to buy me two, a black one and a white one, so that I will have one to drive on rainy days, and one to drive on non-rainy days.

See? I'm easy to shop for. Feel free to use any of the above ideas, or go out on your own. Basically, if it's a comic book, horror movie, hockey jersey, or has Batman, Jason Voorhees, or a Flyers or Auburn logo anywhere on it, you're golden. Happy shopping!


J. Astro said...

That Jason is a beauty, eh.

Angel1649 said...

yeah, um...about that...